"I would make a great gay guy."
- Ethan 2016


The first sign that he is home is the low rumble of Taylor Swift from a boom box. As you descend into the basement you will be met by a line of pepperoni. Suddenly smoke and shame hits your nose as you stumble upon a dress that has been tossed carelessly aside. Your eyes will be assaulted by this blob of a man known as The Basement Dweller.


  • Ethan has the greatest laugh in human history. No srsly.
  • During his acting career he used to portray the androgynous character Pat on Saturday Night Live, he then went on to play that character's morbidly obese cousin Fat Pat.
  • Improves the show when he leaves.
  • Loves to run outside in underwear, while holding a butcher knife; yelling at the top of his lungs: "Where's the Chicken!?"
  • Ethan has reprised his role as young Brett Keane on The Pimpmunk Show multiple times, leading the majority of fans to question what his motives are for doing so. Many believe that "Ethan" is in actuality a young Brett Keane who was brought from the past by the scamming indivijul Sketchy White Dude and his reptilian, Illuminati, Bohemian Grove, chem-trails spreading cabal, in an effort to jeopardize The Pimpmunk Show's success once "Ethan's" manatee metamorphosis has been completed. This plan's success is indeterminate at this point in time.
  • According to Shayrah, Ethan has Kim Kardashian cheekbones.
  • Dislikes D the Zombie.
  • Smoked his own pubes.
  • Once glued pubes to his face in various different styles including the Hitler stache which led to him being called Pubeler.
  • More people want to suck Ho Burger's dick than his dick.
  • Potentially Ho Burger's bitch.
  • Will cut you if you fuck with his Newports.
  • Is Uncle Jesse from Full House status about his hair.
  • Is a lesbian.
  • He is a god amongst mice, according to Pimpmunk.


  • "Where the fuck is my yarmulke?!"
  • "I got Trivia up the ass"
  • "There's always a back alley..."
  • "Cum is better than cockroaches."
  • "I could feed Africa with jizz, bro."
  • "I at least want to look sexy when I'm getting fucked up!"
  • "...I'm not a model, I'm a whore."
  • "Fuck the Pimp-Oligarchy nigga!"
  • "I'm not just a whore... I'm Pimp's whore"
  • "...I'll probably just bring a sandwich and shit with me and chill with you."
  • "Hey I'm HaywireX, and I have AIDS!"
  • "Soymilk don't have titties! Get the fuck out!"— Ethan's response to the option of soymilk
  • "I got no problem with shit crawling in my body."
  • "Fucking alcoholics and their water."
  • "I'm fucking dead bodies."
  • "...I got a thick ass."
  • "Do you want me to re-read your cock, your, your concoction again?"— Ethan to Nerdy Bitch In Glasses on the drink she will be consuming during Pimpmunk's Philadelphia hangout
  • "I'm Bigfoot's retarded cousin."
  • "Movies? Fuck movies, fuck TV. No, Breaking Bad, move over. Like, anal 1920s fisting is the new thing."
  • "It aint no joke, I suck a mean dick nigga."


List of Appearance(s)