"In my defense, I am a dumbass."
- Lance during his first appearance.

Lance (Corporal) Thomas is a small-time YouTuber, the VP of the DP Wiki, a friend of Pimp, and a professional faggot.


Lance was raised a Christian conservative, and become increasingly more and more extreame in his beliefs until he reached being a neo-nazi during his time at military school. He was a neo-nazi for sixth months until seeing Richard Dawkins interviewed in Ben Stein's movie, Expelled. After this, Lance slowly became an atheist and abandoned his neo-nazi beliefs. Later, after watching Cult of Dusty, he become more liberal and came out of the closet.

Ben Stein vs06:08

Ben Stein vs. Richard Dawkins Interview

What made Lance an atheist.

Lance is a absolute lover of animation, both American and Japanese. Lance originally intended for his channel to revolve around discussing animation, but then went the route of commentary videos. He instead regularly discusses animation on Pimpmunk's streams, much to the dismay of Pimpmunk.

His favorite show in all of animation is Neon Genesis Evangelion. He often talks of how much he loves this show even more than he talks about how much he hates Johnny Test. The background of the intro and outro for his videos is even taken from Rebuild of Evangelion 3. He is in desperate need of funds to hire voice actor Spike Spencer to record exclusive lines as the protagonist, Shinji Ikari, for his Neon Genesis Evangelion movies, which can be found here.



Lance's love letter to Evangelion.


  • His physical appearance has been described as "Mexican-looking".
  • He has purported to have eight t-shirts, all of which are supposedly the same Nirvana shirt, which is incidentally his favorite band.
  • The Fancy Badger writes his checks. Fancy feels the need to mention this every five minutes.
  • He was told to "go milk" himself by Brett Keane.
  • He believes that napkins are cringey.
  • Despite having been the only concert that he has ever attended, Lance does not, repeat NOT like Ke$ha.


  • "I like Ke$ha."
  • "All the dicks are belong to me."
  • "As a faggot, I'm just, like, naturally attracted to shitty pop-music."
  • "That cake is faggoty, and I want it." (In reference to Shirt Guy's German chocolate cake, which he had for his mother's birthday)
  • "Griffith did nothing wrong."
  • "I was born out of a vagina."
  • "The most I have done is 4. I want to be able to do it 5 times (in a row)."
  • "I want to have anal sex with Hillary."
  • "That is a huge violation of privacy, man."— Lance when Pimp accidentally turned on his camera, revealing his face in the process
  • "I just wanna say...fuck you—" "Fuck you. Never speak to me or my wiki again."— Lance after Ethan put him in "quiet time"
  • "How's the stream going?"

Quotes on Lance

  • "There's Lance Cpl. Pussy!" - Pimp addresses his friend and introduces Lance to the hangout.


Lancecplthomasjpeg by mrbayn-d9pjshl Yellowlance

List of Appearance(s)


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